Its times like these i wish i had the strength to tell you to your face how much i hate you, how you make me sick to my stomach.  I hate what i've done.  But i hate you even more, for letting me do this to myself.  How can you tell me it was all a joke? HOW THE HELL CAN YOU SAY THAT TO ME?  Your such an insensitive jerk.  How i ever started to like you? I have no idea.  You mean nothing to me.  I don't even want to be friends with you.  You lied, you hurt me.  And you make me sick.  You can never un-due what you have done.  I wont let you.  Ha, this is so pathetic.  Why did i even care?  maybe i didnt.  who knows. fuk. this is all to stupid. you were too stupid.  This is my game.  And you loose.  The end.  Goodbye.  back it up.  I will bounce back.  You will not.  Goodbye... (The person that, that little part was about knows who they are.)

Now.. for the rest of my life.. Im really worried about my friend Brice cuz' i think this girl really hurt him and i havent gotten a chance to really talk to him and see if hes okay.  I really hope he is..  Today at work i got off an 1 1/2 early :D yay! it was sooo slow.. i mean.. it was DEAD! hahaha... anyways.  a song that really reminded me of kyle and me made me really sad and i almost broke down into tears.  We had this couple of really mean people come into today at work and i swear if i had just the tinest bit of dignity gone in me i woulda fucking nailed the bitches in the face.  They are like *cough cough* and im like uh is that a rude way of getting my attention.. oh and it was so im like yes? and they are liek are fries are ice cold can we have some new ones or these re-heated and im like oh yeah not a problem ill bring u 2 new orders.  So i go and tell the cook and w/e so he does and i come back with their fries and as soon as i get there with the fries they look at me.  Put their coats on and im like um.. ok.. well can i wrap this up for u to go and they are like no. and left. man it was the rudest thign ever. if they ever come into the store again im gunna tell one of the boss's n make them leave.  It was horribly.  i think that was the first time any of the customers really made me feel like crap.. i mean down right crap.

Oh some other terrific news.. NOT... i found out one of the guys at work has a crush on me and he wont leave me alone.  Whenever im standing somewhere he comes to talk to me or just anything hes always getting in my way.  And i hate it.. i hate him.  I found this job so i can be an idependent girl who makes it on her own.  Im doing this for myself and only myself.  I did NOT take this job to get fucking hooked up!... NO!!! grrrr :@ people can be so stupid.  Oh well, whatever.  Anyways yeah.  Todays been interesting... One of the worst days in awhile, if not the worst. 

Im just going to go now.. i will write later.

Love Your Secret Lover,
Ashlyn.